Moto Guzzi Club of Queensland Forum

Post those odd bits of stuff that arrive in your email, posts jokes, links to funny pictures, Anything you like. Lets see how long we can get this thread

To kick things off, heres something I got today. Its a bit of a read but worth the effort.


TENJEWBERRYMUDS

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud.

You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. It may be hard work but persevere.

This has been nominated for the best email of 2007.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Thailand, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service: "Morrin, Roon sirbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: "Rye...Roon sirbees...morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?"

Guest: "Uh...yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them, sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay, an Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes, July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine, yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"

Guest: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...meel?"

Guest: "Yes, coffee, please...and that's all."

Room Service: "One minnie...Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye?"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tenjewberrymuds."

Guest: "You're very welcome."

Fig oi warf somach, oi nery pigs miselv.

Hmmm. Thai version of Let Stalk Strine and Afferbeck Lauder?

But have a look at www.engrish.com

They claim to be legitimate, (not made up), and also defend themselves as not being racist.

Come to think of it, I've seen some interesting translations in Guzzi related stuff.

Excellent, Mark!!
Haven't laughed so much for yonks!
Not so sure about Wal's reply, though.
Have a seaky feeling it is something I should not ask about.

Yes, be careful asking Wal about anything......he might just tell you.

Did anyone out there hear about the perverted pedicurist?

I can tell you about the new banning feature the forum has or Hairee can tell you after he gets off his ban period.
I'm thinking about banning everybody for 24hrs just to see who jumps up & down about getting banned.
But to start things off, I thought I might ban myself & the 2 site administrators just for a laugh.

Does this mean I'm back, if you can read this? Wasn't aware I went anywhere.

A ban would do me a favour actually.....I wouldn't spend so much time on here.....I might have to get out there and socialise and meet people in real-life.

Which reminds me Wal, I got to check out Bill's Cali yesterday. Very nice too, but I think he could give it a clean before he comes out on it next

As for the perverted pedicurist I mentioned earlier, I hear you all asking.........
(Yes, this arrived via e-mail and I do apologise)......

He used to sneak into peoples' houses at night, while they were asleep, and trim their toe-nails.
He was a.........."clip-toe-maniac"

I can read your mind Hairee.You really mean that my bike is not only clean but Too clean. The trouble is, I like cleaning it. It's therapy and I don't feel right if it ain't right. I could spend all week on it and still wouldn't cover everything thoroughly. And when it is clean, I unhesitatingly go looking for something to do to it....like polish a nut or something, no kidding!! It's no trouble to me at all.
However, there is a However. You see, life does not always go my way, said he building up the suspense. When I got home last night, I discovered, by the light in the garage, that there was oil under my bike. Further inspection revealed that oil was dripping from the rear tyre!! You cannot imagine my horror, gentle reader. In an instant, I knew what the trouble was. The drive-shaft seal at the rear of the gearbox had failed......and not for the first time!! It had been replaced not three weeks ago for the very same reason @#$%&!! Curses!!
I recall speaking to you yesterday, Hairee, about a wierd handling experience that afternoon. It comes to me now, that my "experience", had nothing to do with anything particularly evil in the sediment oozing from the mountain soil, bordering the road. NO!! It was the oil on my tyre Not mixing with a damp patch on the road.
Thank Christ it wasn't raining!!
Thank Christ the instructors didn't know. Imagine the bagging we would have got if they had found out, after the polite ragging we got that morning, for just owning Guzzis!

And.......in the cold light of day this morning, on the rotor side of the wheel, what looks like a ball bearing can be seen, thanks to some sort of flat washer, which appears to have "pealed back". I take it that this is the wheel bearing. In addition, in the "pockets" of the alloy wheel-centre, I can see "lines" of grit. This stuff contains the most minute, shiny particles. Wheel bearing steel, I presume.
Yes...where was I...oh well never mind. I've got a lot to think about.
But, I'll get back, I'll turn this thing around! I'll ring Garry and Tom and it'll all be fixed up. Then I'll have me therapy, I really need me therapy, mate. Don't you worry, I'll be OK.

Oooh. This is not good Bill!
This space is supposed to be for "Funny Stuff", which leaky oil and bearing probs is not!
Where's Donna when you need her? The "girls" could go back and sort it all out. If only.
Keep us "posted" as to how you go.
And re cleaning bikes.....yes, a nice bike is never clean enough. I'd be the same if I had the time.

Here Bill,
Here's how I get my bike cleaned,
It's probably not funny, but it's entertaining watching it get cleaned anyway.....................................................

and you're the moderator?!

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children
what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out,
fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy
was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about
his father.

My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good,
he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with
him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little
Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too
embarrassed to say."