Moto Guzzi Club of Queensland Forum

A BLONDE decides to try horseback riding even though she has no experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the beast immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady, rhythmic pace but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror she grabs for the horse's mane but can't seem to get a grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck but slides down its side. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness when to her good fortune, Frank, the Woolworths trolley boy sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke Sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.

5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Subject: Reverse Blonde

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like
to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and thehorse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven! 't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her
body hurts wherever she touches it.
Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left wrist and screams, then
she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee
and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
\The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

The Bus Ride



Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip.The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.




The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.




When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. the brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!'



One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...




'YEAH,BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!!!

Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, the boss left work early. One day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband. But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead said they planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," she said. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred, as some of the grappling hooks gave way. This left the eleven climbers clinging precariously to the wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on the Mountain. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the weight on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. All ten blondes applauded.